It's a Dangerous Life for Me!
by moddyfly
Summary: In which Fon is going to kill you, Hibari is your best friend and Alaude is beyond hope. I apologise in advance for any OOC-ness.
1. Mr Denial

Kay, so this is my first story so bear with me ^^

It's gonna be a reader x Fon type thing with comedy and romance (?), mainly comedy.

So... Let the games begin! Or something...

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Namimori is a nice place, really.

Breathtaking scenery, cleansing air and stunning architecture.

And it was all thanks to a certain carnivore that you could experience these wonderful things every morning.

"(Name)!"

You twisted around to look behind you- quite a feat as you were running at full speed down a hill. Behind you was a storm of dust with an ominous aura and a pair of glowing eyes in the centre.

"Oh hell!" You hissed through your teeth.

Hibari was gaining!

You took a sharp left at the manga shop. Up ahead you could see the noble outline of Namimori Chuu, standing tall and proud against the brilliant blue sky. So close!

Just ten more metres...

Oh look! There's Tsuna and co.

Nine more metres...

"Morning Tsuna! Morning Yamamoto! Morning Mr. Denial!"

Eight more metres...

"Good morning, (Name)-chan."

Seven more metres...

"Sup!"

Six more metres...

"I do NOT need to come out of the closet."

Five more metres...

"I was never IN the closet."

"Yeah, you keep saying that..."

Three metres...

Two metres...

One metre!

You feel a hand land on your shoulder and grip it tight.

You gulp and turn around to a seething Hibari. With clenched teeth,

he spits out the words. "Give. Me. Back. My. Bird."

You look down at the almost dead Hibird clutched in your hands.

You look at Hibari. You look at your friends as they stare at you in horror.

You could faintly hear Gokudera muttering, "She's screwed."

Truer words were never spoken.

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So! That was... fun, I hope. Rate and review *\(^o^)/*

Flames will be patted on the back and kicked in the balls.

Simultaneously of course.


	2. Luxury Leather Recliner

You were filing away some papers in the reception room. You had just finished and were admiring your work when you heard a noise behind you.

"Oi, Hibari, you can't keep pushing this paperwork in me just because we're childhood friends.

Also, can I have Hibird?"

You asked hopefully without turning around. When there was no reply you looked behind you to see not Hibari, but Alaude. You paused, unsure what to say. He was staring at you in a dazed kind of way. Hold on a second. Was- was that a blush you saw on his cheeks? Surely not.

You must be seeing things. Seriously, how hard did Hibari hit you this morning?!

There was an awkward silence until the door slid open and Alaude disappeared in a burst of purple flames.

Hibari walked in and looked at you with raised eyebrows.

"What was he doing here?"

You just looked at him. He frowned.

"Did he do something to you?"

You paused. "Can I have your bird?"

You had to duck as you ran out of the room to avoid the tonfa flying your way.

"Go home already, herbivore."

Glancing back, you saw him smirk softly.

"Hmm." Reborn leaned back in his luxury leather recliner. He rested his feet on top of Tsuna's head.

Tsuna groaned in pain. "Re-Reborn! Stop using my head as a footstool!"

He groaned again as Reborn dug his heel in.

"I said 'hmm', Dame-Tsuna."

"S-so?! No, wait, don't kick me! Um... Oh great Reborn-sama, what do you mean by 'hmm'?"

Reborn smirked. "Your friend has some fun in store for her."

"Friend? You mean (Name)-chan? Reborn! What do you mean?!"

"You're to young to know about these kind of things." Reborn all but cackled evilly.

"Hieee, now I'm really worried!"

"Shut up." Reborn dug his foot into Tsuna's skull. He took a sip of his African import coffee,

picked up his binoculars and went back to watching your figure as you walked out of the gates of Namimori Chuu.


	3. Killer Smile

**Thanks for the reviews ^^ I'm sorry the chapters are so short, I'm still working on it |-|**

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You sprinted down the corridor at a ridiculously fast speed, took the corner _sharp_, and threw open the door to the classroom. The entire class turned to stare at you. You paused, panting, your eyes flitting about the room as you looked for the teacher. Upon seeing he wasn't there you fist pumped.

"Made it!"

Yamamoto laughed. "Looks like you got chased through Namimori again, huh, (Name)?"

Gokudera tsked. "She should just give up, it's not like Hibari's going to let her have his bird."

You 'accidentally' bumped his head with your elbow as you walked past him.

"I will never give up. Hibird _will _be mine."

You dropped into your seat just in time. A teacher walked in and yelled for quiet.

"Okay, class, your home room teacher is on maternity leave, so you will have a substitute teacher for the time being. Okay, you can come in now."

He looked to the door and everyone followed his gaze. Murmurs ran through the classroom as a tall man with long black hair tied in a plait walked in and stood at the top of the classroom.

"Ni hao, everyone. I will be your new homeroom teacher. My name is Fon." He smiled and hell broke loose. Your jaw hit the desk.

From behind you you could hear Tsuna muttering, "Hiiieeeee, a smiling Hibari!"

Yamamoto chuckled nervously.

Gokudera was staring. "That's freakin' terrifying," he stated.

Ah, Gokudera. Truer words were never spoken.


	4. Saved by the Intercom

**Hey, everyone, thanks for the reviews ^^ I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while but I've got exams coming up, so I might have to extend the time between updates... ^^; sorry.**

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"And so you substitute x with y, and the result will be-"

Fon-sensei was a pretty good teacher, you supposed. That was, if you weren't so distracted with staring at him. He looked so like Hibari it was scary.

From the elegant curve of his jawline, to the soft black feathers falling into his eyes, to the slim yet strong curve of his biceps as he leaned up to write some formula on the board...

Okay, this was bad.

You officially had a crush on your homeroom teacher.

Who looked exactly like your childhood friend.

Who looked exactly like a certain blonde ghost (?)

Oh man. This was so stupid, but...

But...

"(Name)-san?" Fon's soft brown eyes were staring straight at you.

From the stifled giggles and glances from your classmates, you could tell this probably wasn't the first time he had called you. And you had just been sitting there, staring at him...

You blushed deeply, and blinked.

"Yes?"

Fon smiled softly and you almost melted into your seat.

"(Name)-san, do you know how to solve the problem on the board?"

With great effort, you dragged your gaze away from his face and settled it on the assortment of lines and numbers on the board.

Oh.

Well, damn. Now you were going to look stupid in front of your hot teacher.

"Midori tanabiku, namimori no..."

You heard the familiar song play out over the intercom followed by an even more familiar voice.

"(Name) is to come to the Reception Room right now. Anyone who deters her or slows her down..."

A pause. Your classmates huddled down fearfully.

You could practically hear the smirk through the intercom.

"...will be bitten to death."

Tsuna whimpered audibly. Fon raised his eyebrows, and looked at you.

You smiled apologetically at him. You exited the classroom and waited until you were halfway down the corridor to start running.

Oh, Hibari. His timing really was suberb.

You smiled all the way to the Reception Room.


	5. The Disappearance of Hibird

_... To be honest I kinda forgot I was writing this ^^; So here! Have another chapter of weirdness that is long overdue._

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><p>Hibari raised an eyebrow at you as you bounced into the Reception Room. You beamed happily at him.<p>

It was all thanks to his unknowing help that you saved face in front of Fon-sensei, and you were very grateful to him for that.  
>You continued to smile widely at him while standing there.<br>Hibari's eyebrow travelled even higher up.

"... (Name), stop that, you look _deranged."_

You blinked. "Oh right, sorry." You tugged sheepishly at your hair.

Hibari sighed. "Anyway, there are some documents I need you to take care of for me. Get to it as soon as possible."

Your smile wavered then dropped into a scowl.

Who does he think he is, ordering you to do his work for him?!  
>On the other hand...<p>

"This is the perfect opportunity to get close to Hibird." You whispered quietly to yourself.

Hibari glanced at you, frowning. "What?"

You smirked maliciously and began to cackle.

"Nothing~" You sang as you walked Hibari to the door. "I promise to do the documents carefully, it just might... take a while."

Your insane grin didn't do much to reassure Hibari, but the promise of biting disobedient herbivores to death was too tempting to give up.

"... Okay then."

As soon as Hibari left, Hibird noticed the menacing atmosphere in the room. The bird raised it's adorable little head to look at you and was promptly frozen in place. You stared back, grinning widely and drooling a little.

"Ehehehehe... my precious Hibird," you crooned happily, "At last, there is nothing to keep us apart..."  
>At that moment, Hibird truly felt that his humble life on this earth was coming to an end.<p>

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><p><em>I would like to thank anyone who actually read this *cough* Group Huggles *cough* (although you only did it because I forced you...)<em>

_Sorry 'bout how long it took to update ^^ Please rate and review! Thanks~ _


	6. A Truly Terrifying Spectacle

Tsuna was currently standing outside the door to the Reception room. He had no idea why he was there, but apparently Hibari was investigating something. How he was involved in this, he did not know. Come to think of it he didn't even know what this "investigation" was about.

"Yo!"

Tsuna turned towards the noise. "Yamamoto! Are you being questioned too?"

Yamamoto laughed happily. "Is that what this is then? I was wondering."

Tsuna sweat dropped.

After a few moments of waiting, Kasukabe came out of the Reception room and stopped to observe the two friends. He glanced back into the room and then regarded Yamamoto with pity.

"Yamamoto Takeshi. I'm sorry but the President has summoned you first."

Yamamoto blinked then laughed and shrugged. "Wish me luck, Tsuna!"

He went in and the door immediately shut behind. A brief 'Eh?' was heard, quickly accompanied by a lot of thuds and groans. Kasukabe and Tsuna stood outside in silence. Tsuna's knees began to knock together. Kasukabe noticed this and, being the honourable guy that he was, started to reassure him.

"Rest assured Sawada-san, the President will actually be questioning you. He just needed to relieve some... stress, first."

The door slid open at last and an incredibly bruised Yamamoto fell out grinning. The other two froze. He looked battered and was covered in blood. He definitely had broken a few things, and was possibly suffering from internal bleeding. Still grinning insanely, he began to drag himself down the hall using his hands, his body trailing behind him, saying something about 'getting back to class!' A group of students came around the corner chatting. One of them spotted Yamamoto and pointed in abstract horror. They all looked and screamed, scurrying back hurriedly from where they came.

Yamamoto called after them. "Would you mind telling the teacher I'll be a little late? Thanks!"

The Vice-President and Tenth Vongola boss stood next to each other, processing what just happened in silence. Eventually, one of them spoke.

"That was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen," Kasukabe whispered, eyes wide.

Tsuna, who had broken out in a cold sweat, could only nod his head shakily in agreement.


End file.
